Rain-Clouds and the Darkish Smile: Short Fiction by V. C. Harris. Translated by Cheri Jacob K.

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V.C. Harris

(Translated from Malayalam by Cheri Jacob K.)

T

he relationship between Man and God…that was what he talked about. And I listened enchanted, succumbing to a strange inner call. But I could not understand such Vedic musings. Memory-words that had sunk in some lost consciousness. And I bowed my head, unable to bear the weight of their meaning. But he did not take serious note of it – not at all. And he unceasingly talked on…about the relationship between Man and God.

Who is my God? Where is that God? He was trying to forge replies for such questions. But in the deluge of unfamiliar words I forgot even those very questions. Still there were more questions. But how do I formulate them? As though I had turned ignorant regarding the question of questions.

One day, at dawn, he arrived with the group of travelers who came from the east, and descended here. The Great Man with sparkling eyes and thirsty lips. And with him, a damsel. Her eyes contained more of rain-clouds than the sparkles of light. It was so very hard to believe that she was the daughter of the Great Man. And yet, she awakened a strong urge of attraction in the pilgrim residing in me. I who struggled to imbibe the lofty words of her father, then decided – resolved, rather – to get to know more about the rain-clouds in the damsel’s eyes. I believed, with a conviction, that the ultimate truth regarding the relationship between Man and God lay hidden within those rain-clouds.

The few moments that I got to spend alone with her strengthened my conviction. When the Great Man was taking his holy bath, she appeared before me and softly kissed the palm of my right hand. I sat there, looking into her eyes. Her caresses did not arouse me. Gradually, her eyes vanished from my field of vision. She was resting her head on my shoulder and sobbing.

The damsel’s father completed his holy bath and came and resumed his lofty-worded utterances – great utterances. She sat very close to him. I assumed a disciple-pose and keenly listened to his words. But they did not make any impression on me whatsoever. Where are those eyes? What is the meaning of those rain-clouds? I kept on thinking.

In a flash, it happened. My look moved down from the damsel’s eyes, and lingered and froze by her red lushy lips. They were not like the incessantly moving, thirsty lips of the Great Man. A small smile fell on them like a shadow. And my eyes moved again, in search of the meaning of that darkish smile.

The Great Man and the damsel who had come down here from the east, were not my relatives. Neither were they my friends. It was a coincidental meeting, an introduction, which subsequently developed into a strange master-disciple sort of a bond. But very soon I ceased being a mere disciple of the Great Man. And the Great Man too ceased to exist as ‘Great.’ I believed that I could elicit more significant and deeper truths from his daughter.

That she came into my bedroom that night did not surprise me. The damsel, who appeared like moonlight, clad in a white sari, was not beautiful though. White complexion, well endowed breasts. But her face was ‘made ugly’ by the rain-clouds in her eyes and the darkish smile on her lips. My lust refused to awaken and get thrilled. But still I welcomed her and made her sit beside me.

“I am not beautiful, isn’t it?” Her question stunned me. I cringed, unable to come up with a reply.

“Don’t be saddened” she muttered. “You can speak the open truth.”

I stared into her eyes. As though she understood the intent of my look, she said.

“These rain-clouds make you uneasy, isn’t that so? But, one thing has to be done, so that they will go away.”

To discern what was being said, I trained my look on her lips. Yet again, that darkish smile. She said.

“For the ugliness of these lips to vanish also, one thing has to be done.”

I sat there, holding my breath so very still. What was to be done? God! Don’t test me! How can I help this damsel?

“I will tell you.” After keeping mum for a minute, she murmured.

“Destroy father.”

A volcano was erupting right in front of my eyes. For a moment I was transfixed. But I could not withstand the ferocity of those words. I swooned and collapsed on the ground.

When consciousness arrived, I was lying on my back, ion my mattress. The damsel was lying beside, very close to me, totally naked. Her breasts gifted me warmth. She murmured in my ears, as though chanting an enigmatic spell.

“Destroy father.”

God! Why are you testing me! How can I destroy this damsel’s father? Would it be possible for me? What is the meaning of all this? What would she gain upon destroying her father?  O, Almighty, why did you choose me so?!

“I will tell you”, she murmured again.

For me, words assumed an unreachability. It seems she understood that fact. All of a sudden her red lushy lips came in search of mine. One long lingering moment, I lay crushed under the kiss.  I felt that certain realms of understanding – which no word could ever hope to fully capture – were being transmitted to me via her lips. In a frenzy, I hugged her whole. I showered kisses all over her sculpted body, which was bereft of the odour of sweat – a blanket of kisses. My body was burning as a result of the nail-bites that she had planted all over. And then, I plunged smoldering deep into her molten innocence.

I was losing my sanity. In between the moans and the furtive gasps, she kept on muttering – god knows what… At the very brink of an explosion, I suddenly remembered it. Yes, her father was getting destroyed. This indeed is his death. The rain-clouds and the darkish smile fled abroad. He was dead dead…this very moment, that suddenly froze to a stop…with this last sacramental act…with this very last breath…he has been destroyed…dead indeed, the Great Man!

This epiphany leapt out of me in the guise of an uproarious bellow. She shuddered. Her body twined and arced like a strung bow. I was levitating…to the heighty heights of some unknown world…to the ecstasy that heights bestow.

“Let us first bathe and clean this dead-body. Then we will do the burial.” She said with total nonchalance.

When the clothes were removed, we saw the Great Man’s nudity and were shocked. The phallus, stiff and erect, even in death. In an instant, the damsel chopped it off. Not a single blood-drop oozed. Without further delay we gift-offered the Great Man to the Earth.

It was then that the rain started. It rained continuously for three days. Rambling rain. The rivers and the seas shuddered and twirled, overflowing and flooding the banks. At the end of that Great Flood a deadly epidemic emerged. Men and cattle died by the dozen. This plague continued for three months. The priests and the medics stood by bewildered.

I did not get deliverance from the damsel’s arms. I believed that the flood and the plague spared us just because God had blessed us so. But she questioned this very belief.

“Lust, not God…Lust saved us.” she said.

It may be right. When the storm, the rain-flood and the epidemic were massacring people and livestock outside, we were lying…clasped in a deep ever-bonded embrace. For three months and three days, a never-quenchable lust-thirst kept us totally away from the outside world.

By this time, the rain-clouds in her eyes and the darkish smile that resided on the red lushy lips had vanished. By now she became a beauty. And in that beauty I forgot the universe.

In a totally unexpected moment, it happened. We were lying, our bodies entwined. It was a very cold night. The heat of her body spread a thrill though me. I murmured.

“Wish this night would never end.”

She softly laughed a little. In between my gasps, she said.

“True. In this never-ending-night, I will talk about the relationship between Man and God.”

I splintered in shock. Still talk further about the relationship between Man and God?! I just could not believe my ears. Was it really true? What I just heard?

I looked into her eyes.  There, those dark rain-clouds were thickening. And the darkish smile had reappeared on her red, lushy lips. I pressed my face to her breasts and wept.

Days and nights fell away, like withered petals. One day she murmured in my ears.

“To banish these rain-clouds and this darkish smile, one thing surely has to be done.” I sat, unable to muster courage to look at her face.

“Destroy me.”

I sat, shell-shocked…with no clue as to what was to be done..a certain numbness was spreading all through my body.  God Almighty, what a fate! In a flash, her lips came in search of me, and lick-swiped every inch of my body. A little later, I was in the grip of a certain lunatic lust. I took her – wholly – in my arms.  I felt that, me exploding right within her nakedness was an inevitability. But suddenly a shudder-inducing moan emerged from her. And then she collapsed – lifeless. My lust died. Even then, in her still-open eyes, rain-clouds were lingering. And upon her lushy lips lurked, that darkish smile.

Alongside her father – alongside the Great Man – she too was gift-offered to the Earth…

Now, I will start speaking…of the relationship between Man and God.

********

Note
--This short story appeared in the little magazine titled Vara, book 1, issue 4, 1988, January, Malappuram, Kerala. --Cheri Jacob K.     
More on V.C. Harris in The Beacon
Ecstasies of Influence: Remembering V.C. HARRIS

 

 

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